I'm Full: a Hunger Games Parody
by Sweet.Night.Lock
Summary: JUSTIN BEIEBR! SLAPS! MADGE WITH A MACHINE GUN! SHARPIES THAT SMELL LIKE PIE! When Katniss finds out the true meaning of mentor it triggers all kinds of adventures!***MOCKINGJAY SPOILERS***
1. the true meaning of mentor

**AN: Hey! This is my first fanfic! I love the hunger games so I made a fanfic for it!**

**Disclaimer: Sadly... no I do not own the Hunger Games ,Justin Bieber, Sharpies or anything else except the (non existent) plot and dialogue... BUT, I do own a cookie( laughs evilly) **

**EDIT: Hey guys. I decided to edit this a little better and rewrite some things. Not that different, just a little bit more polished**

* * *

Narrator: Come along now little ones follow me,

Yes ,indeed, we have a sight to see,

young Peeta Mellark in victors village,

searching for old hunger games footage!

"Ugh, stupid Haymitch," Peeta mutters "Making me do research when the Hunger Games are over and the Capitol is over run. I mean seriously? Jeez, cut a man some slack.

Then in runs Katniss, all covered in grass,

Peeta thinks about how he wants to tap that-

"Peeta! Finish that thought and I swear!"

"Woah! How'd you know what I was thinking?" Peeta flushes bright red.

"I-I don't know. There's this voice in my head and-"

"You hear the voices, too?" Haymitch pops his head in through Peeta's front door "I knew I wasn't crazy!"

And while Katniss debates if Haymitch is crazy,

Peeta starts to feel a bit lazy,

Haymitch pops open 2 more beers,

And talks about the voices he hears.

"Why are we rhyming!" Katniss suddenly exclaimed "I mean there's this crazy voice in my head and it's rhyming, but it's making all of you rhyme, too! So, why are we rhyming?"

"Because I want you to."

"Whoa! What the mockingjay was that?" Peeta asks.

"Hello, I'm the Author," a red headed girl in an Asking Alexandria shirt materializes on Peeta's couch. "Nice couch," She comments "From Ikea?"

"What the mocking-"

"And seriously, Peeta? What the mockingjay?" Katniss shakes her head in disapproval.

"Don't look at me! She wrote it!"

Haymitch is still standing in Peeta's threshold, the two bottles of beer now empty. He looks at the Author, confusion clouding his eyes. "Am I really that drunk?"

Peeta opens his mouth to throw an insult at Haymitch when he is interrupted.

"JUSTIN BEIBER?" Katniss screams "AHHHH WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? LEAVE!"

Justin gets down on one knee.

"_And girl you're my one love,_

_my one heart My one life for sure Let me tell you one time_

_(Girl, I love, girl I love you)_

_I'ma tell you one time_

_(Girl, I love, girl I love you)_

_And I'ma be your one guy You'll be my #1 girl-"_

"Whoa, whoa ,whoa!" Peeta says moving in between Justin and Katniss. "Hold up. Are you talking to my wife like that?"

"Yeah, I am! You gonna do something about it, bread boy?"

"Oh now it's on."

"Bring it!"

"Ladies, ladies! Stop you'll bruise Katniss and she needs that face for the cameras," Haymitch interrupts.

"But it was getting good!" Madge said.

"MADGE?"

"PEETA? HAYMITCH? KATNISS? JUSTIN? AUTHOR? See how annoying that is?"

"Yeah, okay," Peeta says

"What are you doing here?" Katniss says.

" I love a good cat fight."

"I am not a girl!" Justin and Peeta say.

"Oh come on! Peeta bakes bread, Justin sings like a girl. Your arguments are invalid."

"Well I'm bored why don't you go to sleep," the Author sighs.

"NO!"

The Author snaps her fingers. "SLEEP!" She yells. She watches in amusement as Peeta and Justin curl up to Katniss. She grins evilly. Oh, this should be fun.

Haymitch wakes up looking around,

Justin is there looking like a clown,

Katniss is there her face in a frown,

Peeta is there muttering "town",

Madge is there not making a sound,

But where is the author? Where could she be?

She is behind a computer plotting an evil scheme,

Haymitch sits there, taking in the scene,

Then gets up to grab a pen and starts doing something mean,

Justin has a mustache drawn in pen,

Peeta's forehead says I love men,

Katniss' cheek says I love you,

Madge's chin says Effie! Love the new 'do,

Suddenly, Peeta awakes!

"Hey author! Why are you making us rhyme?" Peeta says.

"Sorry," The Author says "I thought it added humor."

"Where are you?"

"I'm invisible."

"Oh. Hey, Haymitch! I just realized how funny that sounds. Let's wake up Katniss,buy sharpies, and go to Finnick's house."

"Good idea!"

"I wanna come," whines the Author.

"Fine," they huff.

"Wait!" Peeta says walking over to Katniss "Payback time."

Peeta and Haymitch put there faces right up to Katniss's, much like Finnick and her had in the Seventy-fifth Hunger Games. _Ew, _Haymitch thought_, You can see her girl stache from this close._

"Katniss, Katniss wake up," they say.

Katniss's eyes fly open.

"Oh hi Peeta, Haymitch," she says not very surprised. _Ew, _She thought, _You can see up Haymitch's nose from down here._

"What the mockingjay? It didn't work? Why not!" Peeta exclaims

" Finnick and I made a pack to never let you get us back for that and trained to not be surprised. Plus I woke up while you were discussing buying some sharpies and going to Finnick's house."

"You made a pack with Finnick? What the mocking-"

"Yes, yes, yes, I made a pack with Finnick and WHY IS JUSTIN BEIEBER CUDDLING UP TO ME?"

"I'mma tell you one time..." Justin mumbles in his sleep.

"So let's go to Finnick's house!" an irritated Haymitch says "Time's a wasting and the alcohol is starting to wear off."

"You drank two bottles of beer in under five minutes," the Author says.

"Whatever, let's just go!"

"Ok," says Peeta.

"got the sharpies?"

"Yup,"

"Toilet paper?"

"Yup."

"Katniss' love?"

Haymitch ducks Peeta's punch while cracking up.

"WE'RE ALREADY ENGAGED!"

"That was the capitols idea- OOF!" Haymitch huffs after not ducking in time.

"Haymitch, shut up. Peeta, stop irritating me and get Justin to wake up so you can punch him!" Katniss yells.

"HEY, JUSTIN! WAKE ,THE MOCKINGJAY, UP!"

"Peeta? When will you stop saying that?"

"When it goes out of style."

"Too late." Haymitch mutters.

Katniss turns to Haymitch and slaps him flat across the face.

"Oh, Haymitch," the Author chuckles "You and I both know that being a smart ass comes at a price."

"Don't talk to my fiancée like that!"Katniss says raising her hand at Haymitch again.

"So, you admit that your going to marry me?" Peeta says hopefully.

"Ouch, that hurt Katniss,"Gale says.

"WHOA! Where did you come from?" Peeta yells.

"It's not fair that you get her! I've known her longer!"

"Yeah? Well, I loved her longer!"

"I deserve her because I'm a famous singer!" says Justin, who just woke up.

"And que the epic fight scene!" the Author yells.

*Gale punches Peeta*

*Peeta kicks Gale*

*Justin slaps them both*

*Katniss steps in front of Peeta and gets a slap from Gale*

"Oops!" Gale yells

"Yes, because 'oops' will save your sorry face after I'm done!" Peeta yells

"And on the cheek she got whipped!" Haymitch exclaims.

"Justin needs to go bye bye now," says the Author.

*poof*

"Well that's better," Katniss sighs.

"And your gonna need this," says the Author

*poof*

"Oh, look Katniss has a bow and arrow in her hand. Whatever shall she do with them?" Peeta says sarcastically

"Katniss, why are you smiling like a maniac? Katniss? Put the weapon down Katniss. Katniss?" Gale makes a whimpering sound.

"Katniss isn't here anymore. This is Katniss who killed Marvel because he killed Rue," Peeta says sounding scared.

"Um! Ahem, Finnick's house? Hello?" An irritated Haymitch says.

"Right! To Finnick's house!" Katniss yells.

They all frolic and skip to the front door.

"Wait! Our faces!" Katniss reminds them. They all turn to Haymitch.

"What?" he says.

After washing up with the limited edition sponge bob soap that Peeta got, our heros (if you can call them that) finally embark on their mission to graffiti Finnick's face with Sharpie!

Little do they know, Madge wakes up hours later, they had left her behind!

"They left me!" she exclaims "Wait a left me Peeta's house. Alone. With a pack of sharpies. Hmmm "

* * *

**A/N: thanks for reading! you know i just met you but i think we'll be good friends. please reveiw and give me ideas please! and flamers are welcomed! don't go easy on me! the next chapter will be funnier i promise! if you think the chapters are too long just tell me! kaythxbia!**


	2. OMGZ A FERRARI!

**(A/N: HEY, YOU! YOU ON THE COMPUTER NO NOT YOU! THE ONE NEXT TO YOU, THE ONE READING! YEAH YOU! READ THIS!**

**Hey. It's me again. So here's what happens when the author ( that's me!), Katniss, Peeta, Gale, and Haymitch go to Finnick's house with a pack of sharpies.)**

**Disclaimer: NO, I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES SO STOP MOCKING ME!**

*Peeta opens his garage to reveal a shiny red Ferrari*

"Whoa! Peeta this is sick, man!" Gale says looking at the car.

"Oh, so now your suddenly my best friend?" Peeta looks offended.

"No. When it comes to Katniss she's mine your just confusing her with guilt and your feminine attitude. It's me she really wants." Gale is staring at the car possessively.

"I do not- never mind." Peeta says. Then he whispers to Katniss " That's how he looks at you when you back is turned"

"I am not a prize to be won or loss with some black mailing and dirty tricks!" Katniss exclaimes.

"No he really does look at you like that."Peeta says

"It's true." Haymitch says.

"Yup." The author says.

Gale is to busy staring at the Ferrari.

"Well, let's go." Haymitch says.

" Okay!" Author says

"Not you."

"FINE! BE THAT WAY BUT DON'T BLAME ME IF YOU ALL DIE IN THE NEXT COUPLE HOURS!"

"But then you'd have no one to write about." Pipes up peeta

"There is always Percy Jackson." Katniss says

"NOT HELPING!" Haymitch and Peeta say

"Fine I'll stay here and type." Says the author. She stomps off grumbling about something to do with a banana and Haymitch's liquor.

"Okay let's go to district four. That will take us...hmmm... let's see... carry the one...ah ha! About 4 days." Peeta declares.

"Hmm well that wasn't surprising. Okay Katniss will sit in the back with me. Peeta will drive and Haymitch will sit in the passenger seat." Declares Gale.

"No way! Katniss will sit in the back with _me, _you and Haymitch in the front."

"No. you just want to sit in the back with her so you can press some buttons and play some music to win her over."

*they continue to fight*

"HEY!" Katniss shouts " YOU TWO IN THE BACK ME AND HAYMITCH IN THE FRONT! I'M DRIVING AND ALL OF YOU WILL PRETEND TO GET ALONG BECAUSE I HAVE ARROWS THAT BLOW UP!"

"Yes Katniss, of course Katniss, anything you want Katniss." They say

*Peeta and Gale get in to the back and Katniss and Haymitch get in the front*

"WHOA! This is awsome, Peeta! Pure awesomness."Katniss says refering to all the colorful buttons.

*they start driving*

*two hours later*

"Hey, Katniss."

" What is it, Haymitch?"

"Peeta and Gale are both asleep."

"and your point is..?"

"Is there a button to push them to the middle?"

"no but i can pull over and we can do it by hand."

"What if they wake up."

"Peeta is a heavy sleeper and so is Gale."

"How do you know that?"

"One of them is my husband and the other is my best friend!"

"Oh, okay. Pull over."

*Katniss pulls over*

"This is gonna be fun."She says rubbing her hands together.

*hours later Peeta and Gale wake up*

With Peeta's head on Gale's sholder. And Gale's arm around Peeta's waist. Peeta's legs tucked up like Katniss' at the interveiw. And romantic music playing. Gale's cheek on the top of Peeta's head. Hmmm. Well, this is ackward.

At first Gale thinks Peeta is Katniss and that she changed her mind considering Peeta is almost siting on his lap. Gale pulls Peeta closer and whispers "I love you."

Peeta, on the other hand, knows it's not Katniss right away and is wondering what the mockingjay is going on when whoever it is pulls him closer and whispers "I love you."

peeta is startled and he looks up and see Gale gazing down at him.

"AHHH! OH MY CATCHING FIRE! WHAT THE MOCKINGJAY ARE YOU DOING!" Peeta says jumping up and hitting his head on the roof of the car and scooting all the way to the end of the car.

"WHAT THE HELL! I THOUGHT YOU WERE KATNISS!" Gale says

*Katniss and Haymitch cracking up out side of the car on the side of the road*

"Gale i know it's hard to resist me," Peeta begins and Haymitch snorts outside siting back in his chair in front of the baby monitor that the found in Peeta's trunk. Katniss rolls her eyes. "But i don't roll that way, man."

"Like I did this! It was Katniss and Haymitch's idea! I know Katniss she totally did this." Gale says opening his door.

When Peeta and Gale are outside they find Haymitch and Katniss siting in foldable chairs that they stole from some homeless guy on the side of the road laughing so hard that no sound comes out and clapping like retarded seals.

Peeta was thinking W_ell Haymitch is a retard but Katniss looks..._

Gale was thinking_ I hope they don't have that on video_

Katniss was thinking O_mg they look so funny right now trying to look mad_

Haymitch was thinking_ Wow so this is what life is like for people who dont drink. I perfer drinking._

"Not cool Katniss that just scarred me for life."Peeta says

All katniss can get out is "When Gale... was...and I love you!...looked up... and saw it was...wow!" Then Katniss stands up and says "Okay i'm sorry, Peeta."

Peeta sits down and pulls Katniss into his lap. "Okay but you have to sit in the back with me now."

"Fine" she says and looks up at Gale.

" I'll tolerate that."

"hey, Gale. Why'd you think Peeta was Katniss." Haymitch manages to say.

"Because he was shaped like Katniss and he smells like Katniss." Gale says looking uncomfortable.

"gale you wouldn't know that."Peeta says gesturing to Katniss sitting in his lap.

"i would tip you over but katniss is sitting there,too."

"Guys. be nice! i have magical powers and ways to get you to SHUT THE HELL UP!" Katniss says, smiling sweetly.

"Wait, did you guys wait here the whole time we were asleep?"Peeta says

"Yeah"

"How long were we asleep?"

"I dunno."

"Then let's go!" he says pulling Katniss to the back.

"ladies first."Katniss says laughing at Peeta's expretion.

"Just to let you know we have this on video!" Haymitch says.

Katnisss looks at Peeta and Gale's faces and starts laughing, again. Peeta is looking at the floor of his car and Gale is sitting in the drivers seat pretending to look for the button to start the car.

"So," Gale says nonchalantly " I guess this is payback from when me and Peeta broke the bow that Betee gave you."

" YOU WHAT?"

"Peeta sat on it!"

" Gale sugested hideing it!"

"WHO CARES? YOU TWO BROKE MY BOW AND-" Katniss begins but Peeta cuts her of with a kiss.

"I'm sorry, Katniss." Peeta says making his eyes huge. Anime huge.

Katniss softens her voice "It's alright, Peeta." Then she turns to Gale "YOU! You wanted to _hide_ my bow from me?"

"You weren't looking for it." Gale mutters

*Peeta growls*

"What the hell? Did peeta just growl?"Gale says.

"That's how a real men cuss." Haymitch says.

"Every one SHUT UP! I drove 6 straight hours so I'm going to sleep!" Katniss says.

*Katniss falls asleep with her head on Peeta's sholder*

*hours later*

Katniss wakes up to hear people talking. her eyes are still closed.

"so... Peeta where'd you learn those tricks from."Gale says.

Peeta stiffens "What tricks?" Peeta asks innocently.

"The ones you pulled on Katniss. Like kissing her when she was about to yell and pulling her into you lap. Stroking her hair... I wonder what that would feel like."

"Gale shut up."

"Tell me please."

"okay. Finnick told me."

"Oh. So you and Finnick are best buds now?" Katniss says opening her eyes.

Gale is shocked that Katniss is awake but, Peeta dosen't miss a beat.

"Yup." he says poping the p

"Keep listening to him. It's working." Katniss says smiling at Haymitch and Gale's discomfort.

* * *

MEANWHILE!

Madge.

DUN DUN DUN

In Peeta's house

DUN DUN DUN

With sharpies and a machine gun

OMGZ THE HORROR!

"Hey, author!"Madge says

"Yeah!" The author says.

"Shut up."

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

"And that's what happens when I shut up!"

" Please no! Not that horible empty place again! Please!"

"Okay you have been spared by the all knowing magical author but, next time it's the place ( OOOH SCARY) only the only thing there is Team Galers who want Katniss and Gale to be together!"

"Yes author, your wish is my command."

Madge walks up to Peeta's bedroom*

"WHOA!"

"What I wanna see! Move over!"

CLIFFIE!

EFFIE

LEFTIE

* * *

MEANWHILE

"No, Peeta! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"

"Katniss that hurt!"

" I'm sorry! I was aiming for Gale!"

"Hey!" Gale shouts from the trunk looking for the first aid kit. This will make more sense with the flash back.

"What flashback?" Haymitch asks

"Oops did I say that out loud."

"yup."

WOW A FLASHBACK!

" _I __thought I was winning!" Gale exclaims_

"_Y__ou should've listened to Finnick!"Peeta says_

"_S__hut up, bread boy! How could you marrry this!" Gale shouts at me pulling over so he can point to Peeta "I mean he frosts cakes , bakes, and paints. Plus he has those huge anime eyes!"_

"_H__ey don't dis anime! it's one of the few things that I stay sober enough to pay attention to!" Haymitch shouts_

_We all get out of the car to solve this with violence. Being the stick in the mud that he is ( Love you Peeta! Jk about the stick in the mud part) tries to stop us._

_Idiot._

PAUSE IN FLASH BACK

"Hey!" Peeta yells

" Peeta, shut up so i can bandage your hand."

BACK TO FLASHBACK

_I pull out my bow and arrow and neal down to paint two lines under my eyes with the mud there to add to the suspense. Gale pulls out Haymitch's empty liquor bottle and licks his finger and puts it on his hip and makes a sizzling sound to add to the suspense. Danm. I should of thought of that!_

PAUSE IN FLASHBACK

"See even Katniss can cuss right!" Gale tells Peeta.

" Shut up ,gale."Peeta says

"What? Couldn't think of a come back?"

"Gale rhymes with fail."Haymitch says

" Peeta rhymes with sweeta." Katniss says

"You smell like dead animals."says Haymitch

"You have Ke$ha on your ipod."

"You have Beiber on your ipod."

"You have Beiber's poster."

"OKAY I GET IT!"

"See there was alot of things I could have said but I'm just to sweet and anime-ish to do that."Peeta says smugly

"And that's why A love you." Katniss says

"bah humbug." Gale grumbles

BACK TO FALSH BACK

_I load the bow aiming for Gale's thigh. Poor Peeta got cut there. Then I remember the puss. Poor me._

_Then the idiot that is my husband steps in front of us as I release the string._

_Idiot._

_Peeta falls to the ground in pain. My arrow is sticking on his hand. It's one of those arrows with the mini plunger on the end. I don't carry real arrows! That would be dangerous!_

_Haymitch pulls the arrow. On peeta's hand is a red circle._

"N_o, Peeta! I'm sorry! I didn't-"_

END FLASHBACK

"We get it, Katniss."

"It's okay Katniss. It's just my hand. Cupid hit my heart when he decided I was supposed to love you."Peeta says. He is starring at Katniss longingly.

"Another line from Finnick?"

"Yup." Peeta always pops the p when he says yup.

"To district four!"Haymitch shouts.

**(a/n: review! zeus commands you foolish mortal. Tell me how fast to publish! I already wrote chapter three but need some encouragement...)**


	3. THE ICE CREAM IS STICKAY!

**(A/N: IMPORTANT NOTICE! READ OR ELSE...UM... I'LL MAKE SOMEONE DIE!NO JK I WON'T. YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! thanks to my first 2 reviewers ****angelheart71337 and ****RedHazelDoor****! i dedicate this to you!****)**

**Disclaimer:nope sorry as awesomely ninja and cool i am i still do not own the hunger games or anything else recognizable. CURSE YOU CRUEL FATE!**

_previously:_

_*Madge walks up to Peeta's bedroom*_

"_WHOA!"_

"_What i wanna see! move over!"_

MADGE'S POV

"OH MY CATERPILLAR." Author says shaking her head "I knew Peeta loved her but this is just ..."

Peeta's room is covered in Katniss. The walls are painted green. Forest green. Katniss' favorite color. Hung up all around the room are pictures of Katniss that people take with a devise called a camora. At least I think that's how you pronounce it. Octivia explained them to me and she talks funny.

His pillow has 'Katniss' written all over it in... SHARPIES THAT SMELL LIKE PIE? Where'd he get those? I only have the watermelon kind. Dad says to stop sniffing them cause they'll make me high. I'm still pretty short though. I should listen to him though cause whenever I start sniffing them I get dizzy but the smell so good!

Peeta has plants all over the room. I think he wants to make it look like the forest. It looks like he painted his ceiling with Katniss' face but whenever I look up something drips into my eye!

"Author? What's your name?" I say. She walks over and starts rummaging around Peeta's drawers.

"I can't tell you my real name because of stalkers but, I'll make one up just for you. My name's Rayne."

"Oh, okay. So Rayne could you-"

"I HATE PEETA! HE HAS A MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE SHIRT AND DIDN'T TELL ME! Plus I just found my missing purse in here stuffed with a paper saying 'for Katniss, I picked it out special.'!"

"RAYNE FOCUS! Did you even notice the door slam and lock it's self and the mysterious wet things dripping from the ceiling?"

"No. but my super ninja awesome-sauce skillz tell me that the wet stuff is...

Um...

Hmm...

*lick*...

ICE CREAM!" Rayne yells.

"There's a puddle. Do you think it will seep through the floor?" I put my machine gun down carefully but I still manage to shoot a plant before letting it fall on the floor with a thud. I'm serious the machine gun actually said "thud."

The plant I shot starts bleeding. And the puddle gets bigger.

"With the plant bleeding like that and the ice cream melting do you think we could drown?" Rayne says

"I'm not answering your question until you answer mine."

"No, Rashel Dare did not get Percy."

" Wrong question."

"Yes my shirt is from hot topic."

"No"

"No Emily the Strange is my second favorite thing in the world. The other is The Hunger Games."

"Nu uh."

"Always look before crossing the street?"

"MY QUESTION WAS- never mind."

"That's not a question." She says staring at me smugly. I face palm then remember I'm holding a neon pink sharpie with the cap off. Then t.v which I didn't notice was there because it was hiding behind a pine tree steps out and turns on.

Que the jaws theme music*

DUN DUN

GASP

DUN DUN

SCREAM

DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN

and

And

And

And

And

Then

Then

Then

Effie

Effie

Effie

"Get on with it Author!" I shout irritated at her weak attempts to add suspense "It's a parody for crying out loud! There will be no suspense!"

Rayne looks at me with huge anime eyes. Huger that Peeta's.

"I'm j-just tr-trying to m-make my readers ha-happy." She says tearing up. I walk over give her a hug and apoligize. I can't help it! It's like.. like.. like.. like a Califoria Gurl trying not to melt a popsicle! That must get annoying in the summer.

MADGE HAS A DAY DREAM! GASP!

"Here's your popsicle, Ashley." Brittany says handing my a popsicle.

"Thanks it's just so hot here in-" I reply but stop as the popsicle starts melting. "WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME!"

"Because your a California gurl." Ty lee says

"Curse you Katie Perry!"

MADGE'S DAYDREAM ENDS (YAY!)

The puddle is now covering the whole room and is up to our ankles. Wow that fast? I wonder how long I was day dreaming. Effie is on the t.v screen telling us that we have about 30 minutes of air left.

"Um , Madge?" Rayne says pulling on the door.

"Yeah?"

"I don't think it will seep through the floor."

OH NO!MADGE AND I ARE STUCK! WILL THEY EVER GET OUT? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON... SESAME STREET-what? Someone already has that name? Oh okay. FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON LOST- that one too? Fine FIND OUT NE- oh just forget it!

MEANWHILE!

KATNISS' POV

"_The wheels on the Ferrari go round and round_

_Round and round, round and round_

_The wheels on the Ferrari go round and round_

_All through the districts._

_The wipers on the Ferrari go "Swish, swish, swish,_

_Swish, swish, swish, swish, swish, swish"_

_The wipers on the Ferrari go "Swish, swish, swish"_

_All through the districts._

_The door on the Ferrari goes-"_

"WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP ABOUT THE STUPID FERRARI_!" _I yell. They've been singing the same fruity song for 2 fruity hours!

"Lighten up, Katniss." Peeta tells me

"Lighten up, Katniss." I mimic. Hey. Mimmic, Finnick. No, not really.

"Yeah Katniss you need to stop being so tense!" Gale tells me. I start to pull out my bow and arrows but Peeta sees me and shakes his head. Hey. that reminds me of something...

OMG!Peeta did that when I wanted to get the bow and arrows in the arena!hehehe OMG. Oh My Gale. I smile. Oh My...Glimmer oh my gown oh my gourd oh my-

"Garbage can!" Peeta yells

"How did you know what I was thinking?" I say afraid that maybe Peeta is related to Edward Cullen. Ew. Gross. I kissed him.

"I don't know what your thinking." Peeta says "There was a garbage can in the middle of the road and Haymitch almost hit it."

" WHO THE F-" I begin but Gale cuts me off

"Language." He says.

"Who the f...ruit. Yeah there. WHO THE FRUIT LET HAYMITCH DRIVE!"

Peeta looks at me.

Gale looks at me.

Haymitch lets go of the wheel to look at me.

"KEEP YOUT EYES ON THE ROAD!" I shout. ow. something just hit me in the head. when i turn around gale is holding a jar of peanut butter. i'm assuming that that is what hit me.

"Well I think we all agree you let Haymitch drive."

"What? But I- but that- but- Peeta?" I say trying to imitate his huge eyes "Do you really believe that I did it?"

Peeta's face softens and he leans closer and says: "Yes. Yes I do. Your completly responsible for this."

"BUT-"

"I agree!" Gale says

"Me too!" Haymitch says. Hehehe, Haymitch. hay-mitch. _hey_-mitch?no? I thought so.

"Sigh." I say but when no one looks at me I go for a more dramatic twist.

"Sigh." I repeat falling over so my head is in Peeta's lap and the back of my hand is on my forehead "if only some brave baker's son would take the blame."

"I'll take the blame if you kiss me."Gale says

"Your not a baker's son and I'm married."

"Sigh," Gale says batting his eye lashes " If only some baker's son-"

"We're here!" Peeta shouts shoving me of his lap.

"Oof." I say so loud that people in district 15 can probably hear us. OMG! I love district 15! the world of... smelly sharpies! Madge and I went there once. She bought a watermelon one and I bought a pie smelling one. It disappeared though. I keep telling my self not to sniff it and now it's gone. I should have sniffed it even if it's bad for you. Peeta seems to remember me now.

"Katniss, are you okay?"

" Yeah I just wish some baker's son would-"

"Why is everyone saying that?" Peeta asks

"Because the author was probably tired of writing 'what the mockingjay.'" I reply.

"To Finnicks house!"Peeta yells

"To Finnick's house!" we all yell in return. We all say different battle cries while we run towards Finnick's house.

I say "FOR NARNIA!"

Haymitch says "FOR BEER!"

Gale says "FOR KATNISS"

Peeta says "FOR PITA BREAD!"

We all crack up when Peeta says that. Ha ha. pita bread. Peeta bread. No? Well you should get it. The rest of them say odd battle cries. I think mine's the best. Somewhere in the distance someone shouts 'FOR PERCY JACKSON'. Awwwwwwww I should have thought of that!

We run around in circles before we realize that no body knows where Finnick's house is.

We sit on the ground staring at each other until Peeta figures out a solution.

"WE SPY!" He says

We all face palm. This is gonna be a long day.

* * *

MEANWHILE

MADGE'S POV

"LOOK FASTER IT'S ALMOST UP NO MY WAIST!" I say

"I'M TRYING! OW I STEPED ON SOMETHING."

"Is it the machine gun?"

"Considering that plant has a bullet hole through it I'd say yes." She says. I wade through the ice cream toward my new BFFF. Yes, I know there are 3 Fs.

"I'm going in." she says

"NO!" I yell " your my best fruity friend forever! It's too dangerous."

"But I'm our only hope." She says and dives under. A few seconds later she comes back up holding the machine gun. And... a Walmart hat?

"Madge? Dont drink the icecream I think it's making me hallucinate because you have bunny ears and your hands on fire."

"Okay." I say and suddenly she's chocking. "take...*cough*...this." she says handing me my gun.

"Rayne! Rayne stay with me!"

"Blast your way out. You have to forget me."

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"BANANA!"

"STRAWBERRY!"

"NO!"

"YES! Madge you have to let go of me. Let the force be with you." She says so I let go and she floats on her back and floats away...right in to the plant the I shot.

"WHY?" I shout. I take the machine gun and aim it to the wall. "For Rayne" I whisper "and pizza." I add and start the back round the song Sexy Chick by David Guetta ft. Akon is playing.

There is a puff of smoke that smells like machine gun bullets and then silence. And more silence. Still silent. I resist the urge to splash and make noise.

When the smoke clears the wall is still there. Still whole and the ice cream is up to my armpits.

"WAIT! I DIED FOR NOTHING?" Rayne yells standing up.

"WHOA! Your alive?" I say "YOUR ALIVE!" I run over to hug her. then at the last scond remember the machine gun and drop it in the ice cream with a plop.

"Plop." says the machine gun.

"Wow your really alive!" I say annoyed at the machine gun for ruining the moment.

"Yes yes but more importantly the plant isn't."

"and?"

"That plant had a life. And a major role in this story that has no guide line. So now I have to change things."

"Hey look the ice creams going down."

"Baby are down down down down down? down, down, even if the sky is fallin-"

"Shut up."

"Do you really want me to shut up...?"

"No." a voice says.

"Prim?" I ask

"Yes yes it's me." Prim says

"But your supposed to be dead."

"So are you."

"Good point."

" I sense a disturbance in the hunger games fandom." Rayne says

"That means...but it can't be."

"Oh yes young cobra." She says and dramaticly opens her eyes wider to reveal that they have changes from green to ... extra dark green! " someone has written about a Mary sue."

OH NOS! WHAT WILL THEY DO?

* * *

WHILEMEAN!

Opps. stupid button!

MEANWHILE!

GALE'S POV gasp!

( Que mission impossible theme music)

"Duna duna dunaaaaa

duna duna dunaaaaa

duna duna dunaaaaa

duna!"

"Peeta why do you keep saying that?" I say, irritated. he's been doing that for the ten minutes we've been here.

"Because it triggers my awesome ninja-dino powers."

"Well can you sing a different song? Like... the Perry the platypus theme song?"

"Who's Perry the platypus?"

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHO PERRY THE PLATYPUS IS? HE'S F-"

"Language." Katniss says doing that thing girls do with their leg so it looks like one's abnormaly longer.

" he's f...f...f...f...fiesta. HE'S FIESTA AWESOME!"

"Oh okay." Peeta says not paying attention. I feel stupid. We've been walking around the danm district for 45 danm minutes.

"WAIT!" Haymitch yells "I sense a disturbance in The Hunger Games fandom."

"Then that means..." Katniss starts

"That someone..."Peeta says. They look at me. I have no idea what's going on so I improvise.

"Is...eating a whale?"

"No that's the Whale Wars fandom."

"Is...um...some one...MADE PERCY JACKSON UGLY?" I wish. He gets all the girls! It's not fair. Really if you think about it he's a combo of me and Finnick. black hair, trident, loses girls to someone else... You know what? Why does every one think I'm emo. It's not like I'm that Nico kid. I don't cut myself... any more.

"Gasp! No never noooo! NOOOOOO!" Katniss is sobbing and Peeta tries to calm her down.

We're walking in a single file line with Haymitch in front and Peeta in the back. So when Haymitch stops walking and Katniss isn't paying attention we all bump into each other. I see this as an excuse to hug Katniss.

"Gale." Katniss says "let go of me"

"No!"

"Please?"

"No!"

"Gale, let go or I will RIP YOU FACE OFF OF YOUR HEAD."

"That's okay."

"You have left me with no choice."

"Huh?"

"PEETA? PEETA, GALE'S HUGGING ME AGAIN!"

Uh oh.

**(A/n: sorry not as good as the other chapters. I promise that Finnick will be in the next one! I pinky double ice cream scoop with a pita (he he) on top that Finnick is coming! I feel like this story has no plot so... If you want I can make another story with an acual plot like... KATNISS EVERDEEN AND THE TIATAN'S CURSE! Or maybe not a cross over fic. or I could just continue this BUT I need more ideas cause school is tomorrow! ( it's Labor Day) and as we all know school sucks away creativity! **

**Reveiw or I will eat ice cream! flamers appreciated**

**p.s if the story is missing some words or letters DON'T BLAME ME! 's edit/preview setting is cutting off things! gah!)**


	4. We Kidnap Finnick Odair

**(A/N: HELLO WORLD! I AM SO SORRRY! Stupid school. Too much homework is given to kids these days. But it's taken me a long time because I'M LEARNING GERMAN! Anyways I am excited to write this chapter because FINNICK IS IN IT! Anyways shout out to **kc256 **and **DandelionInTheSpring **and ****all my friends in Britain! This ones for you!**

**Disclaimer: no I do not own anything recognizable in this story. But if you didn't recognize the hunger games I still do not own it*wah wah wah***

FINNICKS POV

_Knock knock._ What's that noise, I think as I get up from my unnecessarily comfortable couch. I was in the middle of sorting out my Pokemon cards! Who dare disturb me?

"FINNICK! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!"

Oh it's Haymitch and the Peeta Possay. It's a stupid name for a group of friends if you tell me. Peeta made it up and I don't think he told Katniss that that's what he calls them.

"Language." Another voice says. Katniss probably.I walk over to the door. My door has pictures of Annie on it. Annie licking ice cream, Annie fishing, Annie twirling in a dress, Annie sleeping ... and Annie riding a flying cow.

When I open the door I am attacked with sharpies that smell like ... *sniff*... is that pie?

"Haha look at the cow, it's a funny cow." Katniss says pointing to my face.

"What? What are you guys doing here? In district 4. In my house. With sharpies?"

"We decided you needed a makeover." Gale begins

"We also decided to write on your face with permanent sharpie!" Peeta finishes What is wrong with that kid? He's always so cheerful. It's annoying.

Then I notice that Gale has a black eye and Peeta's hand is bandaged.

"What happened?" I ask.

"Well, -" Peeta starts but Katniss cuts him off.

"Long story. We'll explain in the car."

"What car? Where are we going and I'm still in my underwear!" I say then I add striking a pose "Don't I look sexy?"

"Ick! Didn't I see enough of that in Mockingjay? Give me a break,Author." says Katniss

"Nice Carebears but Ick" says Peeta, referring to the Carebears on my underwear.

"Nice man boobs." Haymitch says. We all stare at him. Then Peeta pulls out a chicken leg and hits Haymitch on the head several times before pushing him so he falls over.

"Well, this is awkward." Gale says

"Why don't I go put some pants on?" I say. Everyone nods. They're all staring at the ground but, I see Haymitch glance up at me every once and a while. Yeah that's right, Haymitch. I know you want me. I go upstairs and put on some pants, then I go back downstairs.

"So... why are you here again?" I ask.

"We're here to kidnap you."

"Oh... WAIT! WHAT?" Katniss pulls a sack out from behind her and puts it over my head.

"I CAN'T SEE! I CAN'T SEE! TURN THE LIGHTS BACK ON!"

"Idiot."

"WHO SAID THAT! I SHALL SMITE YOU FOOLISH MORTAL!"

"Wanna just knock him out?"

"Sure." Something hits me in the side of the head.

"OW!THAT HURT! *sniff* ANNIE! ANNIE THEY'RE KIDNAPPING ME! MAKE THEM STOP!" I yell. Then I remember that Annie is out at the cheese festival in district 64. Home of the cheese.

"My cow, finnnick. you talk more than a freaking jabberjay."

"Sniff. Sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff-"

"Why are you repeating that?"

"To see if some sympathetic Finnick fan will kidnap the author and change the story so I end up hitting peeta on the head with a pig and kicking gale in the-"

"Come on let's go back to district 12." Katniss says. I think it's Katniss. I'm not sure because THERE'S A BAG ON MY HEAD! Yeah I'm talking to you, Author.

We walk through the district. I wonder why no one has helped me. I have a bag over my head and am kicking and thrashing and yelling and spiting and foaming at the mouth. My district is filled with idiots.

" _The wheels on the Ferrari go round and round_

_Round and round, round and round_

_The wheels on the Ferrari go-"_

"Shut up."

* * *

MADGE'S POV!

"Yes" I say

"No" Rayne says

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Can you two idiots shut up so I can finish reading Mockingjay." Prim says.

"But you all ready did."

"So?" She says. The silence following is very uncomfortable. It's pressing agenst my arm. Why is silence so uncomfortable? It's always in your personal space, taking up time and air. Ocasionaly it's in my head whenever I stick those fork thingies into the two holes in the wall that Katniss said not to touch but, still I don't like silence. Damn silence.

"So... um...hm... ahem... Oh screw it! You win." I sigh defeated.

"When do you think they'll get here?" I ask

"A few hours."

"But they left a few hours ago. Dosen't it take like 4 days to get to district 4."

"They left 8 days ago."

"Oh. WAIT WHAT? How long were we in that room.

"7 3/4 days."

"Oh. WAIT WHAT?"

"Yup and while you were gone district 104 exploded."

"Oh. WAIT WHAT?"

"Can you stop doing that?"

"No because Peeta has 'what the mockingjay' Katniss has 'son of a baker' Gale has 'I'm gonna go slit my wrists' and-"

"WAIT!WAIT!WAIT!WAIT! I SAID WAIT! DAMMIT!

"What?"

"Gale said that?"

"Yeah."

"And you didn't stop him?"

"Nope."

"Did you notice that this chapter is so far mostly dialogue?" Our heads swivel to Rayne who has been quietly tapping away on a computer.

"Sorry," she smiles sheepishly. "but Madge is right."

"Yes!" I fist pump.

"I will give you all catchphrases."

*sigh*

"Prim. Yours is 'kick the bucket.' "

"You're mean."

"Fine it's... Prim off."

"That makes sense instead of pis-"

"CENSORED!"

"What the heck,madge?"

"For our younger veiwers."they stare at me. Weirdly. Stupid foot. My foot's itchy. I wanna scratch it. I wanna, scratch it. Itchy! Itchy! my damn foot is itchy!

"Okay moving on!"

"Why don't we discuse this when they're here?"

"sure. But for now..." rayne smiles evily and pulls out a baseball bat. "RUN FOREST, RUN!"

* * *

KATNISS' POV! (this can't be good)

The car was silent for the 4 day drive. All of us afraid to irritate the others and be forced to walk home. I'm in the pasenger seat Peeta is driving and Gale, Haymitch, and Finnick in the back.

Suddenly Gale bursts out in song.

You're on the phone with Peeta, he's upset

He's going off about something that he baked

He doesnt get your bored like I do

I'm in the woods, its a typical Sunday night

I'm hunting to the kind of squirrels he doesn't like

And he'll never know you're hungry like I do

But he wears aprons, I wear boots

He's kinda girly and I'm so manly

Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find

That what you're lookin for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you

Been here all along so why can't you see?

You belong with me

You belong with me

Peeta looks at me as if to say "What the mockingjay?" I shake my head at his idiocy.I love Taylor Swift. She gets me. I don't care if she's been dead for like 105 years 8 months 3 weeks 6 days and 25, 26, 27 seconds, according to the Taylor Swift fan site. Not that I go on it every five minutes or anything crazy like that. I love her music, it speaks to my twisted soul.

Huntin the woods with you in your worn out jacket

I cant help thinking this is how it ought to be

Laughing on the hill thinkin to myself

Hey isnt she pretty?

And you've got a scowl that could light up this district

I havent seen it in a while, since he stopped your frown

You say your full I know you better than that

Hey, Whatcha doing eating bread like that?

"Gale? Isn't that a compliment?" peeta says

"DON'T INTERUPT THE PRETTY SOUNDS!" haymitch says.

He frosts cakes, I shoot animals

He's all cheery and I'm so emo

Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find

That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you

Been here all along so why can't you see?

You belong with me

You belong with me

Standin by, selling strawberrys at Madge's back door

All this time how could you not know that, Baby?

You belong with me

You belong with me

Oh I remember you screaming out his name in the middle of the night

I'm the one who makes you cry when you think about the bombs

I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your nightmares

I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?

Been here all along so why can't you see?

You belong with me

Standing by or waiting at your back door

All this time how could you not know that, Baby

You belong with me

You belong with me

Have you ever thought just maybe

You belong with me

You belong with me

"No you idiot! I told you to sing it to her when you guys were alone!" I hear Finnick whisper.

"Oh right sorry!"

"Gale," I say hesitantly "What the hell was that?"

"My attempt to woo you, sexy beast!"

"Gale I'm married." I start.

"To me you son of a-" Peeta continues

"Bitch." Finnick finishes. We all stare at him.

"What?" he says. We don't answer. We're just thinking about why Author didn't make a creative way to censor his cuss word. Maybe she'll blast him out of the world. Or worse ... she'll banish him to district 296. Home of the Mary sues.

"Well technically you have to be 23 to get married in district 12." Haymitch states. Now we all stare at him.

"We didn't know you were sober all this time." Peeta says, saying what we are all thinking.

"But still you and Peeta are still 18, Katniss. Which means you guys are still engaged."

" Does that mean there's a chance that you might not get married?" Gale says idiotically. Idiot.

"No." Peeta and I say at the same time.

"I'll take that as a yes!"

We all face palm.

* * *

KATNISS POV! (again)

We arrive in district twelve at 4:52:12 a.m. I know this because I have awesome ninja timing skillz! Ha! No just kidding Peeta checked the time on his IPhone 1200G. the latest in from apple! Apple. Ha. The apple ate the cheese. That's funny because there's a company named cheese. They sell and buy mattresses.

"PRIM! WE'RE HOME!" Peeta shouts through the bull horn. Hey... wait a second. Katniss smells something fishy. Katniss wants to find out what it is. Katniss is talking in third person

"Hey what's that smell?"

"My new fish scented colone." Finnick states.

"Well it's awful." Peeta says. He wrinkles his nose in disgust. Finnick looks shocked by his comment.

"I am shocked by you comment, Peeta! Boggs said it smelled good."

"Boggs is scent blind. Is that the term? I don't know. What do you think ,Katniss?"

"Katniss thinks that we should STOP STANDING HERE IN THE COLD WINTER AIR AND GET INSIDE YOU FAT HEAD!" Gale says

"Idiots." I mutter. I take my keys from my pocket. It sparkles. I got it from district 1,090. The key making district. I walk up and open the door.

"Oh-" I start

"My-" Peeta says

"Freaking-" Finnick cuts in

"Lemon-"Gale states

"Pie!" Haymitch finishes. We all stand there and gape.

Because the greatest thing known to man is standing in my living room.

**(A/N: SO? what'd ya think? And does someone wanna make a suggestion to what the greatest thing known to man is? Because I have no idea what it is.**

**You don't have to review...**

**But I would really like it if you did...**

**So review or else finnick dies**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**HA! No jk but still review.)**


	5. STUCK IN A HOLE!

**(A/N: Hello everyone.**

**Well, the remaning readers who haven't deserted me.\**

**YET!**

**I'M SORRY! Okay so in my last chapter I left a cliffy. Well guess what?**

**I don't know what to write! I'm serious. As serious as a llama on New Year's day. Or as serious as Madge when she wants to kill something. Trust me, Madge can be very scary. BEWARE!**

**Anyways i'm problem is-**

**I should tell you in regular print, right?**

So the problem is-

Hey, do you guys want any tea? Biscuits? Or i could grab my jacket and we can all go ice skating! Yeah hold on I'll be right back!

"Get on with it! Gosh sometimes you can be such a fruit face!"

"GALE? I thought I locked you in the closet?"

"TELL THEM THE FREAKING PROBLEM!"

Okay so the-

Hey! Facebook notification!

Okay the problem. Beta reader. I need one because my grammar is as bad as the smell of Haymitch in June.

Ick.

Nut...yeah. I need a beta reader! Someone wanna help? Oh and about that chapter 5. I wrote six of them. That's right I wrote six chapter 5s. And i can't decide so it might be a while...

kay thx bia!

FRUIT FACE!


	6. OUCH! vampire bite

**(A/n: hello! so i finally decided which chapter to use! **

**i dedicate this chapter to **

**emsywemsy**

**bookninja15**

**d1996**

** jake from FinnJakeandBubbaGum**

**kc256**

**TheCatBaby**

**DandelionInTheSpring**

**angelheart71337**

**sweetyume**

**THG123**

**diana scott**

**and**

**obvioslyblue**

**thank you for staying with me!**

**disclaimer: even if i were Dracula i still wouldn't own it, nor would i pwn it or ice cream cone it.)**

* * *

Yes. That's right every one.

Dracula, freaking _Dracula_, was sitting in the middle of my living room. With the cape and everything! So , like I said, Dracula is sitting in the middle of my living room in a circle with Madge, Raine, and Prim. PRIM! I assumed that she died! Well Madge was blocking our view but I think that there was one-of many- of Haymitch's empty beer bottles. Wait, is this what I think? Are they playing...

Are they playing spin the bottle?

"AHEM!" I shout.

"Katniss! Good evvvening! Vould you like to play spin de bottle vith us?" Dracula says in his thick, husky, weird, tasty, orangy, yellowy,awesomly, epic Romanian accent.

"AHEM!" Peeta shouts "Katniss is engaged to _me!_ not _you_!"

"That's what she said." Gale mutters.

"Oh yeah bvread voy? Vring it on." Dracula stands up and then i notice it. Dracula is in black and white. What the pineapple? What happen to all the color?

And the fight begins!

"ROUND ONE! And...GO!" Gale yells

Peeta swings at Dracula and Dracula ducks and throws...a_ SHOE_ at him it hits Peeta in the nose. Then Peeta starts poking Dracula in the stomach REALLY fast. Dracula steps back and makes these insane choking noises. Sort of like a... :Pjfjjhhhhhherrrrrrrrrr kind of sound. And then...

Peeta pokes Dracula's open mouth with a stick.

So of course that's when Gale decides to ram Peeta's back with an insanly huge celery stick shaped like a chicken. Wait. Did he get that out of my kitchen? I was saving that for Thanksgiving!

_And the stick lodges in Dracula's throat_.

Now his sounds go like this ". I don't know if you know this but it is very nauseating to be in the same room with a choking vampire.

Just saying.

Well I think that wraps up the fight! hmm. I'm hungry let's see what there is to eat. Well I can't eat my fiance. Or my best friends. Finnick is an option but... Ick. And Haymitch... I could light him on fire! But then who will help the geese?Hmm. _NOT PRIM, DEFINITELY NOT PRIM._ Not Madge. Raine is an option-

"HEY! I HEARD THAT!"

"Heard what?" Finnick says.

"Katniss is debating who to eat!"

"Oh don't act so surprised."

"Think she should eat Madge." says Peeta.

"No! Haymitch." Madge says

"No Gale." Haymitch says which starts an argument.

"ARE YOU ALL CRAZY?WHY WOULD I EAT YOU?I WAS KIDDING. AND- WAIT WHY AM I SHOUTING OH I MEAN why was I shouting?" My voice is coarse.

"Gale," Peeta whispers- rather loudly, might I add- to Gale behind his hand "I think she 's gone crazy."

And then Dracula bites me.

* * *

I don't know what he expected me to do but I definitely surprised him.

"WHAT THE BUFFALO? WHY THE COCONUT DID YOU BITE MY FRUITY NECK?gosh." I yell while pushing Drac-man into a headlock.i shove him into the closet and lock the door.

"Creep." I mutter while wiping blood off my neck. Eugh. I personally think that Dracula is the best but bitting my neck? That is soo 1200's. I mean seriously Draco? Get in style already. The new IN thing is being an emo vampire and pretending to not be attracted to women at all. Try using Edward as an example. Well not that I like him but, I just have to keep in style, ya know?Unicorns.

"OH MY TARGET!"Raine yells

"What?"

"Katniss likes Edward. Shun the Twilight lover! Shun!"

"Katniss? Please tell her she's wrong," Peeta has on these super cute anime eyes on again. They're so dang cute! I can't help but do anything he wants.

"Your wrong."

"See," Peeta insists "She doesn't like Edward."

"I'm still hungry."

"What do you want to eat?"Gale asks right as purple smoke starts to seep from the smoke is very thick. maybe we should move.

"Hey guys-"

And then everything goes orange.

Or, er black.I'm not sure. I'm kind of color blind some times.

**well? what do you think?i can post the alternate endings if you want... **

**just tell me by hitting that button right there. no i little to the left. no higher there. right there! no you missed it. THERE! THAT ONE.**


	7. SILENCIO!

**(A/N: HEY! Sorry i haven't updated for a while but i was busy reading the harry potter books and yeah. . . **

**this chapter is dedicated to **

**Smartass-No. 1**

**and**

**TheCatBaby**

**disclaimer:no i don't own anything recognizable. *sob*)**

* * *

When I woke up all I could see was purple.

And no, I was NOT color blind this time. I had a purple blind fold on. I think I was laying on the floor. It's rather uncomfortable here but, at least who ever kidnapped me gave me a blanket.

I started flailing my arms around, looking for the others. Or milk. Preferably the milk because I'm really thirsty right now. I haven't drank anything in a while.

"OW!"

"QUIET! YELLING WILL ONLY MAKE SIRIUS WANT TO KILL YOU FASTER!"

I giggled despite my throbbing hand which I had hit against something large and hard. My guess is that it was either an elephant of a pipe bomb. I'm hoping that it's the pipe bomb because a pipe bomb is MUCH safer than an elephant. Hehe. I giggled again. A Very Potter Musical reference. Giggle.

"Quit giggling, prat," said a male voice with a british accent.

"Make me."

"SILENCIO!"

". . . "

AHHH why couldn't I talk! It's not like their really wizards! What did they do! Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh! I'm freaking out! What happened to my voice!

"Ron, your being immature," it was a girls voice now.

"I know."

"Take off her blind fold."

"No."

"RONALD BILIUS WEASELY!"

"Okay fine."

They took off the purple blind fold and I gasped. Or choked really. I think I might have swallowed a bug.

Because I had been kidnapped by the Harry Potter characters

**sorry it was so short.**

**i love the Weasleys.**


	8. Milk of Awesomeness

**(A/N: IT'S BEEN A WHILE!**

**I missed you guys... **

**HUGS ALL AROUND! Oh, an just to tell you, you don't have to know much about Harry Potter to read this. I just needed an alternate fandom.**

**Disclaimer: Do I look as rich, famous, and awesomesauce as Susan Colins to you?**

**Oh, I do?**

**OH,JUST KIDDING, HUH?)**

**Meanwhile. . . .**

**Gale's POV**

"PEETA! Shut up and turn off your dang IPod before I stab you!" Madge yells from the kitchen doorway waving a knife threateningly. Geez cheese, Madge can be scary when she's wielding a big pointy knife.

It's been an hour since I woke up from my poisonous gas induced slumber. Who ever did that is seriously messed up, I mean really? Drugging 6 awesomely, epicly, fruity ninja kids? Oh, and a narcissistic drunk and a vampire ,but eh. Who needs them when you have me in all my awesome godly glory and hotness?

Did I mention that Katniss is missing? Well, she is and in the place that she was last was a glass of milk.

I was about to drink the milk when Madge had started yelling at me with this really creepy face and spit flying everywhere.

"GALE! DON'T DRINK THAT! What if it's Katniss and the secret gas reacted with her high level of epicness and transformed her into delicious milk!"

"Yeah, and maybe the characters from a completely different fandom came and kidnapped her," I scoffed. " Like those warlocks or whatever from Harry Potter."

"I love Harry Potter!" Peeta exclaimed. "Did you read the last book? I cried."

There is something seriously wrong with him.

Which brings us back to our current situation.

A brief summary of how things are:

The milk or "Katniss in Her True Form" as it had been labeled in Justin Beiber scented sharpie (Don't ask) is in the fridge.

Finnick, Haymitch, and Dracula are in the living room watching Pokemon.

I'm on the couch, being awesome.

Madge is in the kitchen trying to find out if the brown, moldy stuff in the fridge resembling pie is edible.

And Peeta is rocking back and forth on the floor with his IPod belting out random songs from what he calls his "Katniss playlist."

I guess Madge is sick of it.

" '_Cause you're hot and you're cold,_

_you're yes then you're no._

_You're in then you're out,_

_you're up then you're down!'"_

"PEETA!" Madge screeches advancing on him with a knife.

You know it's pretty sad how no one here is as awesome as me. Even Finnick has turned into a squealing fan girl.

"_Pokemon! Gotta catch 'em all!"_

"Ash is so hot!" Dracula squeals.

"Are you kidding me? Brock is way cuter!" Finnick responds.

" I LIKE PERCY JACKSON!" Haymitch slurs. " And beer."

I'm sick of these weirdos.

Later, I'm gonna go to Katniss' room and look through her stuff.

Maybe I can try on one of her dresses. . .

**Meanwhile. . .**

**Katniss' POV**

" _Let me go, Her-me-own. _Herm-i-one! Herman! How the Caterpillar do you pronounce your fruity name?" I yell

" Ron shut her up again, please."

"How about a kiss first?"

" How about a kick where is hurts?"

whimper*

"SILENCIO!"

". . ." Dang those wizards and their spells of awesome!

"Now, we are going to take you to our fandom so you can rid our world of Mary Sues!"

_I miss Peeta, _I think. _And some water. NO! Milk. Yes, the Milk of awesomeness! I need it._


	9. GRANDMA!

**AN: Um, hi guys.**

**OKAY. OKAY DON'T KILL ME. I'M SORRY.**

**I know, I haven't updated since like... an eternity, but I wanted let you all know that I'M BACK BITCHES!**

**If there's anyone left...**

**I'm currently in the process of editing the story so that it isn't so terrible. Ugh, I know, bare with me. My editing skills back then were... UGH. Just no. **

**So, without further ado, here is chapter nine of I'm Full: A Hunger Games Parody**

* * *

**Peeta's POV (Uh Oh)**

I can't do this.

I can't continue living without _her._ She is the only light in my world. She is the flowers in spring. She is my one true love.

"Katniss," I hold up the glass of milk that was formerly my wife and obsession. The glass was cold, like her heart. Also, like Canada. It's pretty cold there, if you're not use to it.

"My love," I stare into her milky white depths "I will not go on without you! My heart aches for you so! My wide anime eyes have shed many tears since you've left and I'm-"

"PEETA."

Uh, oh.

Madge stomps in, this time holding an axe.

"Peeta, she's only been milk for a few hours. Calm down BEFORE I NUETOR YOU."

"No!" Gale whines from the living room "I wanted to do that!"

"Gale, shut up and watch the show! Look! Ash and Pikachu are about to beat- WHAT THE FRUIT?"

A loud beeping emits from the television.

"ATTENTION MUGGLES."

"What?"

Who ever is speaking has a british accent. Her tone is half bossy and half annoyed and there are some muffled sounds in the back round and then what sounds like someone getting hit with a Llama.

"ATTENTION-uhm."

I dash into the living room to see what all of this fuss is about. It interrupted me about to confess my undying love to Katniss in her dairy form.

"What the pineapple is going-" I stop and choke mid sentence.

In the middle of Katniss's living room is a hologram of my great great great great great great-

"WE GET IT PEETA!" Raine exclaims.

"Okay, calm down. You wrote it."

My many times great grandmother.

* * *

MEANWHILE

**KATNISS POV**

"You. Little. Sh-"

"LANGUAGE."

I smirk. I've almost cracked them, my kidnappers. Well, not kidnappers, since their not kids or nappers.

The ginger haired one has turned so red he almost matches his hair.

"Hermione," He whines "Can't we just kidnap Annabeth?"

"No, Ron."

"But-"

"Yeah, can't you just kidnap Annabeth?" I ask "I really miss Bert. See, Bert is my pet Elephant and if he doesn't get a bubble bath every two hours, he develops this awful skin rash, and just UGH."

"Quiet, you two, I'm making an announcement!"

"An announcement?" Ron says loudly, "To those muggles? Can I- OOF"

Hermione promptly whacks Ron on the head with a frying pan.

"Now then. ATTENTION-uhm. ATTENTION MUGGLES. Hullo, I'm Hermione Granger, here on behalf of the Harry Potter fandom and also others. Recently, there has been a sudden rise in the number of Mary Sues in the world of Fanfiction, due to more eleven year old girls getting access to the internet.

"I'm here to inform you that the OFG, or the Official Fanfiction Government has made it my duty to rid the internet of these monstrosities. We have decided to hold a Reaping- oh sorry, I know how sensitive your fandom is to that- an, erm, raffle. Yes, a raffle. Your dear Katniss here has been selected as-

"GRANDMA!"

"I beg your pardon!"

"Grandma!" Peeta is suddenly visible on the LCD screen that Hermione has mounted on the wall. "Oh, grandma, it's you! I have pictures of you! You're my great great great great-"

"Get on with it!"

"-great grandmother! Yeah! Hey is Grandpa R-"

"NO!"Raine has now appeared on screen "Peeta! What the mockingjay are you doing? You could mess up the entire space time continuum! You could mess up all of the timey-whimey stuff!"

Hermione clears her throat. "Was that a Doctor Who-"

"Yes, it was. Now, Peeta, shut up. You were saying, Hermione?"

"Wait, Peeta, Grandpa who? Who do I marry?"

"Oh, you marry-"

"NO," Raine duct tapes Peeta's mouth closed with duck flavored duct tape. Oh, the irony.

"Oh, yes. Very well," Hermione tucks a strand of hair (If you can call it that, I mean seriously? Does she use conditioner? Cinna would be appalled) behind her ear and continues her speech. "Katniss has been selected, along with a few others, to form an elite group of Mary Sue hunters called the Sue Slayers. This group includes Tate, from the American Horror Story fandom, Sokka, from the Avatar: The Last Airbender Fandom, Percy Jackson from-"

"PERCY JACKSON?" Everyone back at my house explodes. Madge looks like she's about to explode from jealously, Peeta is actually crying, Gale looks like he could shoot me, and Haymitch, oh god, has taken to destroying my pictures and possessions.

"PERCY. JACKSON. Like _the _Percy Jackson? Oh. My. Mockingjay. I cannot even. I can't. I just. ALL THE FEELS."

And with that, I passed out, hitting my head on a wheel of cheese.

* * *

**And there you have it! Leave a review and tell me if I still have it. I'm a bit rusty, but I'll get better, I promise!**


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